DH and I just had television connected to our home. We had talked about it many times, and always came back to no we really didn't miss it. I had disconnected mine after my late husband had passed away. I was not fond of television and felt if I had spare time, there were many other things I could do with my time.
Lou and I have been married eight months now and we have made many changes in both of our lives and have had many wonderful conversations. I think we were starved for adult conversation. His late wife could not verbally carry on a conversation and my late husband couldn't communicate in a lengthy conversation. I was afraid that if we had television, we would no longer have the wonderful conversations that we had both come to enjoy. So far all is going well.
Another situation of Love after Loss is we are both very careful not to do things or say things that will bring back hurt from the love that was once shared with our late spouses. I have struggled with a feeling of guilt of telling DH how very much I loved him, oh, I tell him often as he does with me, until I made a "profound" finding this weekend. I can remember back to when I was pregnant for my second child and asking God how I was going to love this second child as much as I loved the child I already had. Once again God is in control,the moment I held Scott in my arms, I knew God had supplied the love that was needed for this second child and God also did the same thing when I first held Krista in my arms.
I believe this is what God did for Lou and me when we realized we were in love with each other. The love that was needed for this marriage was given to each of us to use to God's fullest intention. Lou and I believe our deceased spouses would rejoice in our marriage, as we know God does, because once again God is in control and as long as we follow the paths he had put before us, he will continue to guide both of us. I can now tell and show DH just how much I love him and not feel guilt towards my previous marriage and my deceased husband.
Krista also fought this love between Lou and I, but quickly came to terms with the whole situation, she told Lou and I that God knew he couldn't send her daddy back, but he could and did send the second best choice for her. God bless her for being adult enough to realize this fact and have the time and energy to enjoy Lou.
The reason for the picture of the roses: Another situation of Love after Loss. The girls and I had shared with Lou that my late husband lavished all of us with flowers, usually roses. It was common for the girls to come home from school and find roses on their pillows, and we always had fresh flowers in our home. My late husband's birthday and our anniversary was the 20th of December, and for as long as I can remember, two dozen long stemmed red roses arrived on that day. After the girls were older and away from home, he wanted to share them with the girls. In fact they still arrived after Al's death. Last year, I cancelled the standing order, but honestly missed having them. This year DH ordered the roses and they were delivered on the day before Christmas. How thoughtful and loving of this husband to carry on a tradition but to change the date and the color of the roses. I am indeed so blessed with this Love after Loss.
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